A Sure Thing
by snapealina
Summary: Remus is desperate to win the lottery. Silly, random fic written as thank you-gifts to the mods of Snupin Santa


A/N: This was written as a thank you gift to the mods of the Snupin Santa 2009. So this is my little silly way of saying thank you to Kopernik and McKay. Thank you for making this awesome fest happen.

Disclaimer: I own nothing you can recognize in this story.

**A Sure Thing**

"Are you coming, Remus?" Severus called from the hall. "You know I hate to be in the shops as they are closing."

"I'll be with you shortly, Severus." Remus called back from the living room. "Just a few minutes.

Severus moaned. Not again... They didn't have a few minutes. What was the werewolf up to this time? Severus sighed and walked back into the living room, finding the other man on the floor in front of the television, clutching a piece of paper for dear life.

"Remus, we really need to go," Severus started, until he realized what Remus was doing.

"Remus. Let me see that." He said firmly.

"No, it's mine!" Remus held the paper tighter than ever before.

"Give it to me, Remus." Severus said, holding out his hand.

"No!"

"Remus, give me that lottery ticket or I will hide all your chocolate bars you have stashed around the house." Severus was met with a mocking look. "Don't give me that look, wolf. I know about the one under the mattress, the one in the big casserole we never use and I also know about the one inside 'Magical Me'."

Remus looked shocked. "How did you know?"

"Why would you insist on keeping one of Gilderoy Lockhart's books if it wasn't for that? I have tried to convince you to get rid of that book for years." Severus rolled his eyes at him. "Now stop being a baby, Lupin, and give me the ticket."

"What do you want with it?" Remus looked at him sceptically. "You're not going to throw it away, are you?"

"And throw more money out the window?" Severus muttered. "No, I'm just going to put it away for a couple of hours, and you are going to get up, step away from the television, get dressed and come with me to Diagon Alley."

"But it's about to start, Severus." Remus whined. "What if we win?"

"First of all, Lupin, we never win! And still you keep buying these tickets and waste money we don't really have. Second of all, if you actually manage to win something, the prize will still be available when we get home. They have you registered, you know."

"But we will win this time, Severus. I just know it." Remus looked at his partner and Severus almost felt sorry for the poor man. He looked so convinced.

"How could you possibly know that, Remus? Besides, you say that every time." Severus sighed.

"I've had help." Remus said proudly. "It's the sure thing! And I don't see what the problem is as long as the Muggles don't find out."

How very Gryffindor of you, Remus. Always above everyone else's rules, you just adapt them your advantage. If you don't get caught, then it's ok. It's like it never even happened..." Severus was getting annoyed.

"And that comes from a Slytherin?" Remus answered with a laugh.

Severus tried to calm down. "Well, what did you do?" he finally asked. "Don't tell me you bewitched the machine that picks the numbers?"

"No, they could have found out about that one. I did something much better." Remus beamed.

"Like what?" Severus asked doubtfully.

"Trelawney helped of course." Remus said proudly.

"Trelawney?" Severus looked very sceptical. "Sybill Trelawney?"

"Yes, Severus. How many other Trelawneys do we know?" laughed Remus.

"But how on earth could Sybill Trelawney help you with winning the lottery?"

"Severus, don't be silly. You know she's a seer."

"That is arguable," Severus muttered

"Well I just took advantage of my acquaintance's knowledge." Remus explained.

"Again, that's debatable. Lupin, please don't tell me that you paid Sybill Trelawney to pick out your numbers." Severus was silently praying for the answer to be 'no'.

"Of course I did, and I can't believe I haven't thought about it earlier. It's brilliant, Severus. We are guaranteed to win this time." Remus was beaming.

Severus' palm met his forehead. He couldn't believe that his partner had been this stupid. Trelawney was a huge fraud, why couldn't Remus see that?

"She was a little reluctant to start with, claiming that the inner eye couldn't work on command and that it would probably never tell us anything about unimportant things like a Muggle lottery, but I promised her two bottles of cherry if we won anything, and she decided to give it a try."

"So she just happened to see the numbers in her crystal ball, did she?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"No, don't be silly, Severus. She had to look in the stars, of course." Remus answered.

Severus couldn't believe his own ears. "You know you're not going to win, right?"

"Ssssch! It's starting." Remus didn't listen. He was sure this one was going to hit the jackpot.

* * *

Four minutes later Remus almost had tears in his eyes and had dropped the paper on the floor.

"I can't believe it." he said disappointed. "Only one correct number? How could that be?"

"I told you so," Severus mocked.

"But Sybill was so sure," Remus still couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Did she do the voice?" Severus sighed.

"What are you talking about, Severus? She always does the voice." Remus answered. "Oh, I can see the moon is in the umpteenth house, and Uranus is in line with Saturn so the first number have to be six." Remus imitated Trelawney's dreamy voice.

"Yes, and I can feel it in my front teeth that the next one is seventy-two." Severus muttered sarcastically. "Not _that_ voice, Remus. _The_ voice?" Severus continued, as if that would make things clearer for the werewolf, who still looked like a question mark.

"Oh, wolf, you have so much to learn." Severus said as he got up from his chair. "You never listen to Trelawney unless she does the _voice_…"


End file.
